What a wonderful holiday this was. All of my children came home for Christmas but unfortunately they all had to go back home. My daughter lives in Indiana with her family; my son lives in Texas where his job is and my youngest is in Kansas, living the life she wants with her horses. The week went by so fast. I sat and reflected in my journal this morning wondering why they all have to live so far away? Why am I here in Missouri? Even my brothers, whom I miss dearly, are all on the East Coast and my mother is in Maine. What in the world am I doing here? Other than the fact that I fell in love with a Missourian Man and this is where he lives. But the bigger picture is that I’m here because God has placed me here. Why? Not sure. For how long? Not sure.
I am going through a season of confusion lately. I am finding my life does not have a whole lot of meaning and purpose to it. I’m 50 years old and want to make some changes? I like being a librarian but I don’t like the health factors that are involved with it. I handle dirty, dusty, books with germs on them all day long. Our building has some mold issues which really wreaks havoc on my allergies too. I like working part time and digging into my writing part time from home, but I can see that it’s not going to be financially feasible for me; at least I don’t think so. I don’t know that for sure yet. I have not given it a real fair chance. I’m not thrilled to be here in Missouri but I don’t know where else to go or if I’m supposed to go. Indiana? East Coast? Missouri? I don’t know.
As I get ready to begin my one line Bible Study with my new Sista’s, I can’t wait to see what unfolds in my life. Proverbs is such a wonderful poetic book filled with wisdom. I have always loved Proverbs 4:20-23. I am aiming to memorize it in three different versions over the next few months. It is MY personal roadmap with God.

It comes down to memorizing Proverbs 4:20-23
My daughter, pay attention to my words;
Listen closely to my sayings
Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart;
For they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.
Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.

God, I pray that I would pay close attention to what you have in store for me. I know you’ve called me to part time for a reason. I know my health was really bad and in some respects it still is. I know you want me to work on this body and mind together. I know that you desire for me to work hard at what you’ve got in store for me. The above scripture is the one that I want to bind into my heart and keep it there all year long. I have fallen off the path so much in 2012 and I have not paid attention to your calling on my life. I have fled from situations that you’ve told me to stay and endure. I have not trusted when you were telling me to just trust. I have not been kind when you’ve told me to be kind. I have not let things go when you’ve told me to let go. Lord, I pray that as I dig into the book of Proverbs with my new On Line Sista’s, that you will touch us all, guide us all, grow us all and call us closer to You.

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2 thoughts on “

  1. aunt jo-jo January 1, 2013 / 2:32 pm

    Beth,
    I think this doubt comes with age. We were just talking about this on Saturday, jeanne, Laura and I. We have decided to sell our homes and move to Kentucky “golden Girls” and buy that ranch we’ve always wanted!You are welcome to come with us!!

    Like

    • momofthree3 January 1, 2013 / 2:54 pm

      I have been saying the same thing to Dale; I would love to pack up sell my house and move somewhere warm. I would love to go towards the ocean where we could ride the motorcycle all year round. I love the beautiful white snow, but don’t like the cold. I also get so much more inspiration from being outside. Thanks for visiting my blog and Happy New Year dear friend.

      Like

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