I’ve had a small set back today. I am home sick. I am feeling better now but at 4:30 a.m. I was in contemplation of an ER visit. I woke with a headache. I have not had one that bad since the beginning of November. That’s a little over two months; I consider that a record. It is also the first time that I’ve been able to avoid an ER visit and took all of the suggested drugs at home. I curled up on the couch with my dog and slept for another three hours. Thank you God for drugs. I don’t like to take them but man when you are in that much pain, you just have to do what you have to do.
I was trying to read my daily scripture just before typing this and I just couldn’t wrap my brain around my memory verse. I can blame it on the drugs or the headache which I probably will but I also can’t help but feel insignificant today. I believe my health has really taken e down today and I know the doctors have told me I will have good and bad days. I never thought that at the age of 50 I would have to give up working full-time because of my health. I never thought I would be considering selling my home to move into a very small apartment to work better with our finances. I never thought that my husband would lose job after job during this time or that I’d have my car stolen. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s kind of like I feel that my life has been wasted. Yet, God tells us that everything we go through in life is not a waste. When I get down like this, I just have to pray so if you don’t mind, I would love to share my prayers with you. If you too are having a bad day due to health, loss, job, stress, day-to-day junk, pray along as well, knowing that God’s grace is sufficient every day.
I feel like I have wasted so much of my life, made some really poor decisions and fallen off of my journey with you. I have taken too much time to gather my strengths. My age, my weaknesses and my slow motion body cause me to feel a lesser talent. You know God, how much I love and want to serve you and yet so often fail you. I need a new beginning, a break, a miracle in which only you can give. Please remind me of my gifts and talents so that I may better serve you. Please Dear Healer, heal my body from head to toe. I surrender my today and my future. May it not turn out like my past.
Psalm 18:1-3 NCV…I love You, Lord. You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my protection, my Savior. My God is my rock. I can run to Him for safety. He is my shield and my saving strength, my defender. I will call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I will be saved from my enemies.
BTW: If you read my blog yesterday about the shower…It’s doing GREAT! So, maybe there’s new talent in me after all.