I read a quote today by Eleanor Roosevelt:
The purpose of life is to live it,
To taste experience to the utmost,
To reach out eagerly and without fear
For newer and richer experience.
I have lived a large portion of my life in fear of the unknown. Although I’ve gotten much stronger and less fearful, it sometimes creeps up and hits me when I least expect it. That’s when I have to sit and evaluate what is going on in my life. Last night I had anxiety that lasted into this morning when I woke up. I knew why and I had to self talk myself out of a panic attack. I was frightened because one, I had to drive downtown to my kidney doctor appointment by myself and two, my husband would not be there with me during the appointment. He has been through this journey with me from the first diagnosis of Idiopathic Nephritic Syndrome.
It’s okay to be afraid of the things we don’t understand. It’s okay to feel anxious when things aren’t working our way and its okay to feel the fear. However, you don’t have to stay in that anxious feeling. Sometimes I am strong as an ox and yet other times I’m very weak. But today, I knew I had to do this. I had to take the trek downtown by myself and get to this appointment. It was time to talk to the doctor about the developing symptoms. It was time to talk about the future and ask the questions face to face that I scribbled onto my paper.
Although my husband was out-of-town, he stayed on the phone with me as he walked me down each highway, Side Street and bridge. (He’s a truck driver. I was in GREAT hands. My man knows his streets.) Once through my appointment which was all positive news, I was able to share it with him in the car parking lot and he guided me back home, even when I had to take a detour because I35 North was closed. He also told me, that he had been praying for me. Prayers were answered. Thank you.
I felt God saying, “Beth, the old ways will change and become new. The patterns that I wish to leave behind is left behind and that which I chose to take with me on this journey are neatly tucked away into my spiritual journey and taken along beside me as created precious memories. Trust in me and I will guide you into the precious future on step at a time.”
I pulled into the driveway, turned off the engine and text my family the good results. I then stopped for a moment, rested a spell and gathered my strength. I raised my head and praised God and refreshed my spirit. I was at that moment in perfect peace beside a quiet stream with my God Almighty who dwells there. The Spirit is waiting and watching today to bring power and enablement in answer t prayer to those who will submit their lives to God with a heart set to obey. This is the kind of person the Spirit desires to strengthen to accomplish the will of God.
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8