Day Two on Checking In
Yesterday we chatted a little bit about affirmations. Did you make your list and are you reminding yourself of your goodness? I hope so.
Today I will be writing about achieving the impossible. Do you have days where you think there is something that is just not possible? Is it a decision at work or an argument with your spouse or a bill that is not getting paid? Know that the impossible is possible.
It was the last day of me living on the farm. I had been there for almost 14 years and it was my familiarity, my safe haven and my peace. I was standing in the kitchen where I had made bread with my daughter, cooked eggs with my son and shared many stories around the table and all that was left were the bare walls. I remembered the day that the town people walked off of my farm with my belongings in the auction; the auction that sold my memories. I remember there being nothing left of what was. The tears came and right there, I grabbed a piece of paper from my purse, a pen and sat there on the bare floors and began to write.
Twenty three years of marriage was gone in a blink of an eye. My husband left me with so much “impossible.” Little did I know that God was going to provide the possible to this impossible. I know that while we are going through the rough times, it’s not always possible to see God working or see that sometimes the bad is good. The hardship and upheavals, the losses and heartache that I’ve experienced has brought me to a more peaceful place in my soul. None of it was a meaningless accident; not even my 23 year marriage. I have a few beautiful memories and three wonderful adult kids. But I certainly went through the impossible thoughts. I became consumed with defining myself more by my questions rather than God’s answers. Another word, “Why God” was the question I asked every day. I was very depressed.
Did you know that 40 million people are plagued with some sort of depression and 18 million take antidepressants to cope? I was part of that number. I was trying to avoid my life rather than deal with it. I went to psychotherapy which I just learned means attention to the soul, and I did a lot of journaling and seeking God. I didn’t want to sleep through this journey. I didn’t like it and I continually felt it was impossible until God finally got through my thick skull that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13.
I look back on my life while writing this and see how many impossible situations I came through; I am pretty resilient and now as I recover and grow stronger with my kidney disease, I see again how God is bringing my impossible thoughts to possible actions. When I feel the impossible feelings come on, I remind myself that my life is really good.
Here is an exercise for you. Take your sheet of paper and fold it in two. On the left side, write Sorrows and on the right side write Joys. Then begin to allow your pen to swoon over the left side and feel the pain of your sorrows. Focus on those sorrows one at a time. It doesn’t matter how long you make that list and how long you spend on each item. My left side could be 10 pages long; however, my right side can be 20 pages long. Allow yourself to dig deep. When I really started to do this exercise, and by the way, this is something my dad taught me when I was making a very big decision in life, make a left and right-sided list of pro’s and con’s; but when I started doing this, I began to make some definite changes in my life. Some of them will take a lot of time and will mean taking some risks, but whatever the case, I know I will withstand the impossible because there is a purpose in my life and I’m going to explore it.
Now you go and write my friends. I’ll be back on Friday sharing on how we should not take one moment for granted.