Divorce Part II


Should You Re-Marry?

IDK! I can’t say if you should or not. That’s between you and God. It just so happened that I did re-marry and I did it way too soon. I fell in love right after my divorce. Everyone kept telling me to wait, but I didn’t. I wanted that comfort of a strong man in my life and I stepped into it with both feet. Guess what? Within four months we were already experiencing some serious difficulties and ended in front of a therapist immediately.

I was insecure, scared and felt alone. I felt a void that no one could fill. I carried left over bitterness, anger and fear. He carried arrogance, fear and confusion. We had grown children that needed our attention. Our relationship needed attention and my trust in God diminished. I felt I could do whatever I wanted to do and so I did. It only caused me much pain.

Did we participate in any pre-marriage counseling? No! Should we have? YES!!! I cannot promise you that if you partake in pre-marital counseling that when you’re hurt or wounded, that your spouse will change. Every marriage has its challenges but when we respond to a situation according to God’s plan, even if you are still angry, its victory. God’s plan is always the right plan. God can grow us in an unhealthy marriage as well as a healthy marriage. He can shape us in prosperity or need, in comfort or stress, in intimacy or loneliness. The reward? Intimacy with HIM.

Would you change your ways? Oh yes, I would. There are a lot of things I would have done differently but one of the primary benefits of getting re-married is that if there is suffering on the road ahead, it seems good to have a partner at our side for support. Today’s conversation about the emerging roles of men and women in the home is garbled thinking. I believe before re-marrying, find out what God’s call on your life is. I wanted to be the best step mother his adult kids ever had. They didn’t need that. I wanted to assume all of the spiritual responsibilities in the marriage. I can’t do that. I had to learn to be just “me” and be good with that.

Marriage is a commitment and a call. I firmly believe you will have the richest, most fulfilling life when you take seriously your responsibility to fulfill each other. It’s not a one-way relationship. It is hard but if you commit to praying every day by yourself or even together, all things will work out.

The Lord promised that He would send the Spirit to teach us. (John 14:26) JUST ASK

Teach me your way O Lord; I will walk in Your truth. Psalm 86:11

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