Bothersome Thoughts

 

crying-woman1

 

What do you do when you wake up Monday morning and things aren’t the way you thought they would be? Where do you turn?

I awoke early this morning with some anxiety. I don’t know why so I chose to get up and spend some time in the Word. I am participating in the Purpose Driven Life Bible Study and decided to read today’s lesson. God gently talked to me where I was at; in the big oversized chair, with my coffee , journal and dog.

Some days I wake up wondering what my purpose is, and what’s next. It is especially hard right now in my life because one, my kids are all grown up so they are not the center of my focus. Two, I’m only working part-time right now and with free time on my hands I struggle with what to do and three, I’m still dealing with health issues.

I read something very bothersome this morning that I’d rather not share right now, but it’s eating away at my heart. It’s causing me to dig deep inside and seek God. Thank you for that Lord. There was a time in my life, when if I had doubts that I would just crumble and slide into a funk. Today, I am seeing the will of God over this situation.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matt 5:6-8

I am hungering and thirsting this morning. I want righteousness to be a passion of my life. I want to be driven by it. I think there is some schedule changing, attitude changing and some life rearranging to be done right now. The first step is admitting that I need to be more connected with Jesus. Not just in my writing, but my very being. What about you? Are you hungry and thirsty? What are you doing?

Heavenly Father, increase my desire for good things. Give me a heart to long for righteousness, to think critically without being critical, to examine myself that I might be in a position to offer help to others. Forgive me for falling short of my own standard, and help me to forgive others who have. Help me to hold myself to my own standards without hypocrisy while offering grace to those who don’t fulfill my expectations. Grant me the desire to pursue hard after You-to keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking. In the Precious Name of Jesus, amen.

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