I’ve been reading and re-reading Jen’s post earlier this week on forgiveness, I can’t help but gear my own blog towards the same subject. Why? Because forgiveness is my biggest Goliath in life. I have such a struggle in forgiving others that have wronged me.
Jen’s host and friend, Janet Sketchley, Author of Secrets and Lies, lined out ways on how we can let go of our anger. I would like to share some of my thoughts as well. 2014 was a very tough year for me and letting go of anger was incredibly difficult.
I struggled with a kidney disease, lost my job, went into foreclosure on my home and it was vandalized by an X-family member. I became separated, moved to Texas and then six months later moved to Maine. Angry you ask? Yes, I was.
With each one of these instances my heart became empty and my dreams became lost. I became a social outcast in my own life. I became extremely angry and experienced a three-day stretch where I didn’t get out of bed. I pulled the covers up and didn’t move other than to let my dog out. I didn’t eat or drink. I was hedged in by my own anger.
At the end of the third day, I finally broke out my Bible and went to the Gospels, specifically Matthew 9:20 and began to re-read about the woman who had an “issue of blood”.
She was sick in her body. She had no money and drained all of her resources and instead of getting better, she grew worse. (Mark 5:26)
In the law of Moses any woman who was hemorrhaging, or even experienced a normal menstruation needed to remain “apart” from others as long as she was bleeding. This woman bled for twelve years. Can you imagine how she felt? I speculate she was incredibly angry and felt like a social outcast.
What did she do? She became determined to just touch the edge of Jesus’ garment!
During my three-day slump, Jesus whispered to me,“Beth, just touch the edge of my garment and you shall be able to let go of your anger.” Then I read, “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed your broken heart.” Matthew 9:22 paraphrased!
Now, when my days become turbulent and I feel anger trying to strangle me, I try to remember that the wave is not the sea. Though it pounds at me, the pounding will pass. You also do not need to allow your anger to mislead causing you to stay in close to the shore. You see, because if you stay too close to shore, you will get battered by the surf and undertow.
What is it that you feel angry about today? Are you tempted today to lose hope? To lash out?