How do we get away from Approval Addiction? I’m an approval addict and hate it! I always feel the need to get the approval from others when making a decision. Why do I do that? Is it validation? Confusion? Fear?I’m 53 and should be able to make my own decisions without worrying about what others might think? How about you? Do you find yourself wanting the approval before you make a decision?
Many people are plagued with “approval addiction” and don’t even realize that they have it. Let’s see if you are one of them. Read below:
Are you the type of person who is a show-off in school and needs approval?
Are you the type of person who goes to church to be seen by others but could care less if God is present or not? (ouch!)
Are you the passive person in your relationship?
Do you feel like you are violating your conscience?
God has put in us the need for approval but not of man but of Him. It’s a God-driven drive. We need to bring our desire for an approval to Him, not our parent, neighbor, sibling or even Pastor. We need not know what God is saying to others but should surely know what He is saying to us; if we tune in. “The fear of man brings a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe? (Proverbs 29:25 KJV)
Let’s look at some Biblical examples of those who looked for approval in others before turning to God.
1. The first example I can easily think of is Adam and Eve. I wonder if Adam took the forbidden fruit for Eve’s approval? Maybe he was showing off? Ever been there; tempted to do or say something that you know is wrong just for approval?
Then the woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it; she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6 HCSB
2.What about Samson and Delilah? Samson told Delilah his secret to his strength to get her approval. What happened? He was eventually taken into captivity and he became a slave for the enemy.
Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?
This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.” With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death of it.
So he told her everything. “No razor has ever been used on my head,” he said, “because I have been a Nazirite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man. Judges 16:15-17 NIV
3. What about Paul; was he a people pleaser, looking for approval before becoming a Jesus pleaser? Judaism had become a tradition-bound religion. Before his conversion and while a Pharisee, Paul was tried and true to his traditions. His zeal and success were fueled by the nature of Judaism, not Jesus. Judaism did not seek to prevent man-pleasing; it promoted it. Judaism focused the attention on man’s self righteousness as judged by other men; (Galatians 1:10-2:10)