I’ve had a small set back today. I am home sick. I am feeling better now but at 4:30 a.m. I was in contemplation of an ER visit. I woke with a headache. I have not had one that bad since the beginning of November. That’s a little over two months; I consider that a record. It is also the first time that I’ve been able to avoid an ER visit and took all of the suggested drugs at home. I curled up on the couch with my dog and slept for another three hours. Thank you God for drugs. I don’t like to take them but man when you are in that much pain, you just have to do what you have to do.
I was trying to read my daily scripture just before typing this and I just couldn’t wrap my brain around my memory verse. I can blame it on the drugs or the headache which I probably will but I also can’t help but feel insignificant today. I believe my health has really taken e down today and I know the doctors have told me I will have good and bad days. I never thought that at the age of 50 I would have to give up working full-time because of my health. I never thought I would be considering selling my home to move into a very small apartment to work better with our finances. I never thought that my husband would lose job after job during this time or that I’d have my car stolen. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s kind of like I feel that my life has been wasted. Yet, God tells us that everything we go through in life is not a waste. When I get down like this, I just have to pray so if you don’t mind, I would love to share my prayers with you. If you too are having a bad day due to health, loss, job, stress, day-to-day junk, pray along as well, knowing that God’s grace is sufficient every day.
Dearest God,
I feel like I have wasted so much of my life, made some really poor decisions and fallen off of my journey with you. I have taken too much time to gather my strengths. My age, my weaknesses and my slow motion body cause me to feel a lesser talent. You know God, how much I love and want to serve you and yet so often fail you. I need a new beginning, a break, a miracle in which only you can give. Please remind me of my gifts and talents so that I may better serve you. Please Dear Healer, heal my body from head to toe. I surrender my today and my future. May it not turn out like my past.
Psalm 18:1-3 NCV…I love You, Lord. You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my protection, my Savior. My God is my rock. I can run to Him for safety. He is my shield and my saving strength, my defender. I will call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I will be saved from my enemies.
BTW: If you read my blog yesterday about the shower…It’s doing GREAT! So, maybe there’s new talent in me after all.
My Blog firsthalfday 
Beth, I simply enjoyed your post this morning. I really needed it! Differnet situation, but feeling less than! Your prayer just helped meso much! Hope God doesn’t mind me doing a copycat! I have been trying to be a pafrt of the group on Proverbs. But it is just too difficult for me. Yahoo has changed their format on emails & I can’t get nowhere but frustrated with it!
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Thank you Helen. If I can help you in any way, let me know. I am not that great at the technology of the whole writing thing. Hang in there.
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Beth, I was just in tears over not being able to view my emails like I used to, before this change yahoo did last week! Reading the enormous amount of blogs I read is part of myto spiritual nourishment! I use my computer for only this; the things of God, for myself & to share withothers! Imade one more attempt tocontact yahoo & found their help place & I was able to set my page back like it was, easier to view my emails! Praise God! I will try again to be a part of the Proverbs group!
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I am so glad that you are not giving up. That’s what we are called to do; keep on keeping on. Almost sounds like a disco move…I couldn’t imagaine me trying to disco today. I’m more like the slow dancing, hanging onto my man move. Proverbs has really turned out to be a very challenging read for me. We have been studying at a slower pace, thank you Jen. I do better when I can take my time memorizing.
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Oh, my sweet friend, please know you are cherished. But I understand how you feel. May God hold you close, lift your head, and whisper words of love and encouragement to you today.
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Thanks for the encouragement and….just maybe….Um…I’m not all WASHED up. LOL
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Beth, Thank you for inviting me to your blog . . .I’ve been mesmerized for the past hour, as I have read all of your writings. You truly have a gift of expressing yourself while ministering to us, your readers. I’ve had tears in my eyes while reading. . .so sorry for you feeling badly today. . . praying for you to continually be aware of the Lord’s very presence. . thanks again for sharing words of “life.”
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Thanks Linda. I love to write, have much to share and am totally walking in faith. I don’t know how I am going to survive financially, but know that if God has called me to this, I will survive all the trials and tribulations. I can’t wait to come along to your Bible Study. I love my on line study but I also am lacking the personal hug of a woman or laughter of a group. So, hang onto my copy or stick it in my locker at work. Yay!
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